


intro to the badlands

by flamebirds



Series: one shots [7]
Category: Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: In A Massive Plot Twist Being Murdered Leaves You Messed Up, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 20:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20913305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamebirds/pseuds/flamebirds
Summary: anger is easier.





	intro to the badlands

_Anger is easier._

That's what he's decided, at least. It's better than the grief, than the pain, than all the horrific things he sees whenever he closes his eyes. It's safer, too, and it doesn't involve addressing the fact that he _died._

Nobody else seems to want to talk about it either. Ever since his father fished him out of the lake, brought him back and packed him on board a space ship, not a word has been said and Charley's thankful for that.

He's grateful, don't get him wrong, but the man in front of him is not his father, despite the physical similarities. He doesn't _have_ one and he's not gonna give this man a chance. If he wanted to be involved in his life, then perhaps he should have made an appearance before Charley had one step through the pearly gates.

_Besides,_ he's already got a family back on Earth. They're all a little worse for wear, a little broken, but they've always had his back, no matter what, and he can't _not_ go back to them. That wouldn't be fair and it wouldn't be right and it's far too soon for any of them to lose another person they care about.

But there's a problem with it all. When he first woke up, Charley was fully prepared to go back home and join the fight against whatever it is that killed him. He didn't care who it was that saved him or why; all he cared about was the fact that his friends were in danger.

Then, he found out about his father, a Thangarian warrior. Then, he found out that Carter_ knew _all along, that Carter was aware that he had a family somewhere out there and _didn't tell him, _and that's when the anger started to seep in.

How different would his life have been if Carter told him on that roof? Would he have become Golden Eagle in the first place or would he have gone away with his father? _(Would he have met them? Met her?)_ What kind of person would Charles Parker be, if he'd been allowed to know his true heritage?

He doesn't know and he'll never know, because Carter ripped that chance away from him.

And for the chance to discover more about himself, he stays on the ship. It's not like the Titans are gonna find his body and once they don't, they'll know he's alive. It's how things _work_ in their world; no body, no death. And sometimes, no death even_ with _a body. They'll know he's out there and, yeah, they might be a little worried, but he's working on getting a message back to Earth, on letting them know he's doing fine.

Well. Fine might be a little bit of an exaggeration. He's fucking _furious_ and he can't control it, can't keep this anger down. Oh, he's been angry before, full of so much rage, but never to the point where it overwhelms him.

One day, in training, his vision goes red and when it finally clears, that color stains his hands.

It starts like that, sparring sessions getting way out of hand, blood soaking his knuckles, and it keeps on getting worse and _he can't control it._ He's trying, god, he's trying, but nothing's working and finally, finally he snaps.

"Take me back. Take me back to Earth,_ now."_

He needs them, more than ever before. He needs Hank, somebody who's always shared his rage, Dawn, with her soft voice and hard punches, Lilith and her calming mind and Bette, wonderful, burning Bette, who makes it all seem so much more bearable, who laughs when he knows for a fact she wants to cry.

It'll be easier with them. The anger, it'll fade out and he'll get better and he'll be able to think about Carter and what he did without the red pouring into his vision and smothering everything in a blanket of blood.

His father fights his decision, of course, but Charley doesn't back down. He doesn't know _how. _Always, he's gone headfirst into a situation and until his death, it'd worked out pretty well.

It takes time and harsh words, the anger still _growing and growing and growing _until he's so scared, so terrified, he's gonna cross a line he can't come back from, but he finally, finally convinces his father to let him go home.

(He _may_ have threatened to simply steal an escape pod and make it there on his own if he didn't relent).

And then he's there and it's been so long, but he's positive they won't have forgotten him. He's positive that he can come back and claim his old life back with ease.

He can't. He figures it out pretty quick, once he realizes that, even without a body, they accepted he was dead, accepted Deathstroke's word. His team, his family, seem to have moved on; some stay with the main Titans team, some go off on their own and others _(her) _go off and they make a new team that's a blatant stand-in for their old one and then they move on, they build new lives and their new lives don't have a place for Charley Parker anymore.

He's alone, all alone, and he thinks about letting them know he's okay, that he's out there and he needs them, but...

_Anger is easier._

It's easier to let it consume him. It's easier to become bitter and hateful and into the exact thing, he promised he would never become. And it gets even easier as time goes by, until it's all second nature to him, until it's how he thinks he's supposed to be. His hands learn their way around a gun far too quick and the red, the bleeding red, overtakes everything else and he's _tired_ of fighting it, so very tired and so very angry and now, when he closes his eyes, he doesn't see red.

He sees hands. He sees hands wrapping around his throat and shoving his head underwater. When he closes his eyes, Charley Parker feels himself die and when they open, the red is all he knows.


End file.
